Hi everyone!!! I don’t normally do mid-month updates, but I feel this is important enough for an early update... (TW: Cancer)

Selfie!

I’ve decided to not wear any foundation at all on my face. The only foundation I’m wearing now is to cover scars on my neck and chin. Yay! I can touch my face and kiss people without leaving brown marks on them!

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Hair

In the next week or so, I’m completely changing my hair. I’m keeping the same style, but it’ll be a surprise colour. I can’t wait. ;)

Very smart

I drove the new smart!!! Gah, I want one so much. I talked to my dealer, I can get into one for little monies. So current plan is to move out then get the new smart.

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Dad

*Sigh* Well, things are getting worse. At first, my family was very confident in that his cancer would get better, it isn’t. They found 4 additional cancerous lumps (freaking huge ones) in addition to the first two they were treating to begin with...oh and those first two have grown substantially.

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At this point, they have downgraded him to stage 4 cancer. They have stopped giving him successful treatment rates and have simply suggested that they start the most aggressive treatments now.

I felt like I got hit by a bus when I heard the news.

This means he will be too weak to work, and since my mum basically works a non-job, also means that they won’t be able to afford anything.

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I’m now at a difficult conundrum. I’m expected to pull my dad’s weight to make their ends meet. At the same time, I REALLY need to move out and distance myself from the family for the sake of my emotional and mental health...and now I’ll feel guilty for doing that.

Ugh, I wish I could make other people happy and myself happy at the same time :(