Hi everyone!!! I don’t normally do mid-month updates, but I feel this is important enough for an early update... (TW: Cancer)
I’ve decided to not wear any foundation at all on my face. The only foundation I’m wearing now is to cover scars on my neck and chin. Yay! I can touch my face and kiss people without leaving brown marks on them!
In the next week or so, I’m completely changing my hair. I’m keeping the same style, but it’ll be a surprise colour. I can’t wait. ;)
I drove the new smart!!! Gah, I want one so much. I talked to my dealer, I can get into one for little monies. So current plan is to move out then get the new smart.
*Sigh* Well, things are getting worse. At first, my family was very confident in that his cancer would get better, it isn’t. They found 4 additional cancerous lumps (freaking huge ones) in addition to the first two they were treating to begin with...oh and those first two have grown substantially.
At this point, they have downgraded him to stage 4 cancer. They have stopped giving him successful treatment rates and have simply suggested that they start the most aggressive treatments now.
I felt like I got hit by a bus when I heard the news.
This means he will be too weak to work, and since my mum basically works a non-job, also means that they won’t be able to afford anything.
I’m now at a difficult conundrum. I’m expected to pull my dad’s weight to make their ends meet. At the same time, I REALLY need to move out and distance myself from the family for the sake of my emotional and mental health...and now I’ll feel guilty for doing that.
Ugh, I wish I could make other people happy and myself happy at the same time :(